Infidelity in Men
It is certainly true that many more men than women cheat on their partners, though the number of women dong so is also increasing. Infidelity hurts the other spouse too much and it is difficult for a marriage to survive after an affair has been detected.
What is also interesting to note is that men do not forgive a physical transgression of the wife and women find it difficult to deal with the emotional transgression of the husband. This is because men can indulge in physical intimacy without any emotional bonding while women often look for an emotional bond to establish a physical relationship.
It has been long touted that men can not help taking up an available opportunity for physical relationships. They have purely physical reasons for doing so. This however is not the case. Men cheat on their spouses for a variety of mental and emotional reasons as well:
1. Novelty from Marriage Gone: Most marriages after an initial period of physical and emotional high settle down into a normal daily routine. There is a decrease in the emotional high of romance, in frequency and novelty of physical intimacy and couples get bogged down by day to day problems. This makes a man cheat in order to find an earlier emotional high and it serves as an escape route from everyday problems, even if temporarily.
2. Thrill: Men get bored with the same woman, same life and same job and so as a misdirected attempt to introduce some thrill in their life they have an affair. They shy away from the effort and responsibility of rekindling romance and emotion in their own marriage or develop some hobby as a way out and add spice to their life by going after a new woman.
3. Ego Boost: Men often use infidelity as a way of reassuring themselves of their manhood, their good looks and attraction for women other than their wives. It is also a symptom of their low self esteem and low self worth. They often get a temporary ego boost by proving their physical prowess by having an affair with another woman. This is typical of older men going after women much younger to them after years of marriage.
4. Lack of Will Power: Intimacy is a natural process and temptations abound. It is definitely something that gives pleasure even if momentarily. Men who lack will power and are weak in character give in to the temptation and cheat on their spouse. Often they are not looking for an affair but as soon as an opportunity presents itself they go for it.
5. Seeking Revenge: Men often resort to an extra marital relationship as the means of hurting and getting back at the partner who has either hurt their feelings, hurt their ego or have cheated on them. Though there is no justification for their act, their feelings are assuaged. They knowingly, intentionally get in to it and willingly let their partner become aware of it.
6. Dissatisfaction with Intimacy: Physical fulfillment is an important part of a successful marital relationship, more so for men. They often show their emotional attachment or love through physical relationship. In a relationship where the woman is unable or unwilling to satisfy a man?s physical needs leads to an emotional estrangement. This often makes men look for physical gratification outside the relationship.
7. Can Get Away With It: Most women are not ready to rock the boat, break a marriage, leave the house, trouble the children for an odd transgression by the husband. They are often wiling to forgive and reconcile with the man. A lot of men are aware of this weakness and use the opportunity with impunity.
8. Emotional Reasons: It is not only the physical needs but emotional ones as well that can lead a man to stray. A couple might be unable to reconcile their differences, think on similar planes, there might be no bonding between the two leading to an emotional detachment .A man in such a situation might seek to fill the emotional void by having an extra marital relationship with a woman he feels understands him better or is his true soul mate.
Thus, there are a number of reasons for a man to cross the moral boundaries and cheat on his partner. It is the worst form of hurt anyone can inflict on a person they claim to love or care for. Though it is difficult to get over the betrayal and insult, a lot more women than men are able to forgive their cheating partners and save their relationships.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
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